I know that medically speaking, there is no such thing as the “second puberty”. However, I genuinely believe that there is another growth period, just not really like the kinds of puberty we are used to. Now, none of this is to say that EVERYONE goes through this, but as a young adult in college I have heard it to be quite common in girls. Everyone is unique and so are their experiences, so here is how my “second puberty” journey went!

It was like it was overnight; I wanted to learn about what my true physical needs were as a young woman. My good friend and roommate, at the time, introduced me to a book that is all about the way the woman’s body is supposed to work; it’s called “In The Flo” by Alisa Vitti. She mastered the science of women’s hormones and really helped me during this time.

Physical

The circadian clock, a 24-hour cycle. This is something that Vitti dives into and explains the ins and outs. I was genuinely so surprised at how many things I didn’t even know about myself. I strongly encourage any female to read this book, dig and do more research on this stuff. The difference it has made in the way I function and really treat myself was noticeable to my peers. Everyone is so used to just going along with the 12-hour clock when in reality, that isn’t the way a woman functions. Increeedibly interesting if you ask me.

Let me give you some examples: there are specific times to work out during your menstruation cycle. More specifically, the kind of workouts you should be doing. During this time, I was getting really into the gym and started planning my workouts around my cycle and around the circadian clock. I became more confident in myself and my image, I learned the fact of reality is everyone is so unique and beautiful in their own skin and own personalities; we really gotta love ourselves more!

Mental

My mental state is what I feel changed the most throughout this journey. How I handle emotions, the way I feel towards specific people, and the way I feel about myself – honestly. Let’s get into the meat and potatoes; my relationship with my father had never really been ideal. For the most part, very rocky. But when I realized a shift was happening in my life, I began to notice that how I felt about our relationship had also shifted. Instead of viewing my dad with resentment and anger, I started looking at him with empathy and love. I spent a lot of time thinking about my dad’s past and how he grew up, the challenges he’s faced. I feel like I put myself in his shoes (any anyone else’s for that matter) for the first time. I began to appreciate every single thing he has ever done to me, every gesture that had always gone unnoticed.

With this new way of thinking constantly swarming my thoughts, my mental stability and health was questionable. I was so overwhelmed with school and outside factors that I was genuinely starting to shut down; from school, friends, family, extracurriculars. I was officially diagnosed with anxiety and put on Prozac to manage. Once my emotions started regulating, I felt like I had a few moments to breathe and some time to re-get to know myself as I know {her} now. I learned how emotional I really am; that no matter what the emotion is, I feel extremely. If I am happy, I am super happy, if I’m sad I am very sad, etc. This allowed be to mend with my dad a great deal.

All of this to say that I learned how to take accountability for my doings and my own actions when it came to my relationship with my dad. I am still taking everything I am learning and applying it to every relationship I foster. Doing this created a sort of standard and boundary for myself and who I confide in, the people I call my friends. I would say the biggest lesson I took out of my mental growth was the importance of self-advocacy. Because if you aren’t going to do it for yourself, who will? It is okay to ask for help and rely on partners, friends, family. Most importantly, it is okay to not always be mentally and emotionally well and stable.

Spiritual

The last time I was truly working on my spirituality was during the beginning of the pandemic lockdown. And honestly, I mainly got into it because it was trending all over social media and I had nothing else to do. Things did change though! When I felt I was on the other end of that very long mental struggle, I got back into spirituality. Learning emotional regulators, naturally, and trying to show gratitude every day for different reasons. I feel like this was the time I truly learned what a boundary was, setting one of my own , and how to respect mine and other boundaries. I got into journaling and writing more and more. Making sure to purge my brain of all leftover thoughts from the day, every single night.

Something that I highly recommend for those of you looking to get into spirituality, especially if you have trouble sleeping, is guided sleep meditations/hypnosis’. I struggle getting to sleep almost every night, so when the routine nightly thoughts would begin rolling in, there was no turning it off. I know you know exactly what I am talking about when you can’t sleep and just start thinking of everything and nothing all at once. I found sleep meditation videos on YouTube. I decided to play one on my phone while I was trying to go to bed one night, and I followed along with the guide’s voices in the background. I would wake up the next day feeling so fresh and rejuvenated. Maybe it is the placebo effect, but all I know is that it worked on me during those nights I just could not rest.

MY TAKEAWAY

Like I had mentioned, I know this is not a unique experience nor a ground breaking theory. However, this was my experience with this so called “second puberty”. To this day, I am growing and learning and navigating every day. I am working on being the best version of myself in a time that feels most chaotic and unstable, my 20’s. I know that physical health is something within the realms of our own control and mental health is never cured. I also know there is huge significance in the growth and journey I went and continue to be on. I can almost promise this wont be the only post about my new growth realizations and epiphanies!